From the MayoClinic.com:
Long-distance caregiving poses unique challenges. Find out what you can do to help your loved one from afar — and how to make the most of personal visits.
If you live far away from a loved one who needs care, you might wonder what you can do to help. Start by understanding options for long-distance caregiving, from gathering information and coordinating services to providing occasional respite for a primary caregiver.
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I was my mother’s primary caregiver to Alzheimer’s. And if I had heard someone suggest that I embrace Alzheimer’s while I was in the thick of care giving trenches, I would have quickly dismissed the advice as superficial and one-dimensional. But as a recovering caregiver, I realize the power of that statement. Unintentionally and unrehearsed, I did embrace Alzheimer’s during the early stages of this journey, and that very act fundamentally defined my experience, converting an otherwise stressful journey into a mindful and meaningful series of life lessons. In the beginning I’ll admit that I was afraid of the disease because I didn’t want to lose my mother to the tangles of this fatal disease. I simply wasn’t emotionally prepared to let that happen because it meant letting her go. So I did my best to keep connected to her, by doing what I could. I prepared homemade, single-portioned meals to fill her refrigerator. If she was going to lose her mind, I thought, let it happen on a full stomach. At the very least, it made me feel like I was still in charge. But during those quiet moments when truth becomes easier to swallow, I would admit to myself that my mother was falling apart before my very eyes and it would put me into a panic-stricken tailspin. Like anything in life, the more I looked truth in the eye, the less panic I felt. Gradually I stopped trying to teach her how to use the TV remote, heat up leftovers in a microwave, and hold a telephone. I stopped trying to squeeze her back into the reality that we had once shared because that approach ended up being a source of aggravation to us both. By leaving the ‘denial’ stage and embracing Alzheimer’s, I liberated myself from the fear that Alzheimer’s would steal my mother’s love. And if I still felt unsure or afraid of my mother’s disease, I would remind myself that when life hands you Alzheimer’s, embrace it.